¹NICHOLAS?.: Tonight made me realize that I'm 10,000 times more attracted to you than I am to Kanani, or have ever been with any other girl for that matter. You're special to me. Goodnight Jackie. I love you.

WHAT.....wow, so my best friend in the whole entire world just told me this. I'm so like lost for words idk what to do. Then i went and tried to say something and typed what i was thinking, then it got deleted and never sent. and i don't even know what it said -_-

Nicholas Ryan Heck has changed my life. And I wish I could tell him how important he was to me. I have this urge to talk to him more than anyone else in the world. Even my boyfriend which strangely hurts me. 

I wish I could find the words to tell him how he is the most perfect person i have ever met. And how we are so similar we practically finish each other sentences. 

But there is still like this thing, in the way, of us being totally 100% open with each other. And I think that its no matter how much we try to hide it, we have strong feelings for each other. And idk if he feels the same way but idk . 

I'm just so lost in this relationship we have going on, and idk what to say.

I love him. No matter how mad people get when I  say that. I do. and nothing can change it. 

Love never fails to confuse me. 

College

On the freeway on the way to Cal State San Marcos.
My mom and I have been visiting colleges trying to get an idea of where I might want to go and its rreally overwhelming but exciting g at the same time. It makes me want to skip the next two years of school and go straight to college.

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Watched The Eagle with my boyfriend today, and tried to keep my excitement of Channing Tatum down to a minimum, along with how upset I was he only had his shirt off for like 2 scenes....Such a waste of amazing :)

This worked...

Well, as you can see, this didn't work well. I think I'm going to just change this to an everyday blog and see if it works any better. 

Wish me luck :)